It's Christmas break and one of the only times I can see old friends from high school who all mostly stayed in state for college. So rarely do private and public school breaks line up.

The list of obligatory but nevertheless enjoyable people to see has shrunk dramatically over four short years and I've simply come to accept the fact that time and distance can put paid to relationships very efficiently.

Still, there are a couple of friends I still make an effort to see.

I went out with one a couple of nights ago. It was snowing heavily which hindered travel and both of us had long forgotten about what there is to do, exactly, in town and where to find it, so we settled on Starbucks for something warm to drink.

I'm not a fan of coffee... or paying through the nose for designer cardboard cups, so I don't spend too much time in Starbucks-es. But I have to say I felt very grown up and rather collegiate sitting there, chatting with an old friend... being astounded at the fact that I felt old enough to HAVE someone to call an "OLD" friend.

She graduated from Colorado State last May and spent most of her time in school hanging out with various extensions of the high school group of friends I had long lost contact with. We talked about all the people who managed to get engaged or married or, even more perplexing, pregnant in the last five years. And about the people who haven't.

She told me of a few girls who have been dating guys semi-long-term who are expecting rings in the immediate future. They have, apparently, given their beaus ultimatums. They've literally given them deadlines by which they have to propose or it's over.

To some extent I can understand why some women feel that way. But older(ish) women. It's that weird "Go or get off the pot" mentality, I suppose. Like, if she's 30 and has been dating a guy for 3 years, I get it. I don't agree with it, exactly, but I get it.

But these girls are 21, 22 years old. I realize dating a guy for a year and a half seems like a lifetime, but, c'mon. We're all so young. How can we really say for sure what we want? And our lives are so crazy right now. We're graduating from college, we're hopefully moving into careers... it's a lot of stress and pressure, so you really want to add more of that volatility onto your relationship? If it's going well now, maybe just let it be that way for a while before things get figured out.

And, I don't know about you, but the idea of kind of "forcing" your boyfriend to propose is horrible to me. If my boyfriend doesn't want to propose on his own accord, doesn't that mean something? Doesn't that mean he's either not ready to be married or doesn't want to marry me? It sounds like enslaving someone in a marriage.

There's one girl who was biding her time and just taking her relationship one day at a time... until she caught a glimpse of the ring box in her boy's dresser drawer. It was his grandmother's ring willed to him to give to the woman he'd spend the rest of his life with. My friend fell instantly in love with it and the pressure has been on for him to propose ever since. Every other word out of her mouth is "engagement" and "wedding" and "proposal." It's sickening.

I don't think relationships should be about ultimatums or striking deals or fancy jewelry. If it's not the right time, it's not the right time. There's nothing wrong with being patient.

The friend who was telling me all this recently broke up with her high school boyfriend of 4.5 years. They had talked about getting engaged, even. But things didn't work so well. That's kind of what happens wen you date a jackass. They went through this horrible break-up that lasted about a year. In the meantime, all these other high school friends are getting married. I'm sure it was rough on her, but she's much better off now. She's too strong and too independent to be tied down at this point in her life and she totally understands that. It feels good to know there's at least one other GIRL out there who doesn't seem consumed by all this madness.

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