Soon, I'll be able to buy calendars that run Jan-Dec. I'll be able to spend my evenings watching TV or hanging out with friends without feeling massively guilty about neglecting my homework, because there won't be homework to neglect. What a thought. I'll really feel like an adult then.
ON the other hand, it's kind of sad. Drake is home now and it's depressing a little to think of leaving. I left home in Colorado to come here and that was sad. It wasn't sad once I actually left. I missed home, but I was instantly distracted by all sorts of new things,so there wasn't really time to be sad. It was the last couple of months that was really sad because every day my impending, unavoidable departure got closer.
But nothing is ever meant to last forever. Nothing at all. It's weird to me that every now and then I lose sight of that. Sometimes I live in this weird fantasy and think maybe if I try hard enough, I can make it last forever.
But it's not supposed to be that way. And that makes sense. I don't think I'd fit in well here when I'm 80. Maybe it's not that I'm so attached to school... maybe I'm just afraid of the unknown.
It's probably both.
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